1. 'Determination' is a necessity for entrepreneurs. 2. Avoid 'bitching' remarks that reduce your motivation level. How to?

‘Determination’.
In my years as an entrepreneur, I am still searching as to what is the most necessary trait to be a good entrepreneur. While the answer can be endless to different people with different views and might change in different times, I personally believe that ‘determination’ is the most necessary trait.

Of course there are other traits like the ability to adapt, to learn, to manage, human relation, strong mentality, leadership, good business ideas etc. but in my opinion all this can be acquired if we have ‘determination’. For some, the main hindrance to start a business is the ‘fear’ of failure. To fear is human; yet, some overcome their ‘fear’ to reach their goals. So how do you overcome your fear? The answer might lies in ‘determination’.

There are people, who go all the way to do the unimaginable things far from the average people initiative, like climbing the peak of Everest, swimming across Pacific Ocean etc. I don’t think that these people are without fear; they just think positively and build their ‘determination’, that’s how they overcome their fear with courage.

Without human ‘determination’, we might never fly across the ocean as the Wright Brothers were not brave enough to invent, America might be discovered far too late if Christopher Columbus were lacking the courage. Fear is inevitable but ‘determination’ overcomes the negativity of fear.

In my early attempt to become full time entrepreneur, I feared that I will fail, that I am worried for my next meal, that people will not support me morally etc. I fought and still fighting my fear with ‘determination’. Yes I was lucky, because my parents as my pillar of strength never fail to encourage me but the rest I have to fight by myself in the never ending battle.

Fostering ‘determination’.

So how do you foster your ‘determinant spirit’? My idea is to build up your confident level, get as many knowledge as you can and surround yourself with motivating family and friends. One way I feel is quite effective to get friends or family that motivates you is to be generous and sincere to motivate others. Also, be open to receive comments as they are valuable for you to improve and move forwards. Why our ex PM adopt 'Malaysia boleh' slogan? It is for the citizen to have high confident and determination level.

As human, sometimes your ‘determination’ level can be hampered by many factors (mostly psychological). The fact is, only you can control your ‘determination’ level. As ‘determination’ is psychological in nature, do avoid negative and insincere comments or words from anybody to lower your spirit.

These comments are dangerous especially nowadays with a specific 'verbal technology' we called ‘bitching’ (no gender bias as both male and female employ this evil techniques). Eventhough it is physically harmless, it is indeed detrimental to your psychological health.

‘Bitching’ versus good comment.

‘Bitching’ – a term made famous in the 80s and early 90s with soaps such as ‘Dynasty’ and ‘Dallas’ and it is still alive these days. “Crystle dear, that dress is gorgeous but you look like homeless queen in it; Oh darling Alexis, you come in time when we need a Christmas tree. Both disappeared to change their wardrobes”. Oh yes, the ‘bitching’ technology is evolving to the extent that some are using ‘religion’ subtly to exploit for whatever reason to dampened your spirit thus lowering your motivation.

For example, I recently received a comment that some of my writing and photos in my blog are sinful for a Muslim (the comment is in a very clever and subtle way) that in a blink, I almost think that the comment might be sincere – yeah right – who are you? God? To suggest I am in sin.

How to identify and differentiate positive comments and ‘bitching’ comments’?

With widespread ‘bitching’, nevertheless, you still need sincere comments so you can improve yourself and your business. Sometimes when we are too emotional, good and positive comments can be mistaken as ‘bitching’. Fortunately, it is actually very easy to identify and avoid the harmful ‘bitching’ that can cause damage to your motivation and 'determination'.

Sincere people actually often think in ‘both sides of the coin’ when giving comments and try to broaden your perspectives. So when the comments arrived, they normally come with logical reasoning that you can easily digest without judging that you are in the wrong. Normally, sincere comments are straightforward.

When people ‘bitching’, there are so many dramas they put to convey their comments like emphasizing their sincerity when in reality they are not (often it goes like this, 'I am your friend so I 'sincerely' want to comment....'). ‘Bitching’ remarks usually have so many express apologies (its the sign of feeling guilty) and so many excuses put into suppose to be straightforward comments ( bitches tactic - 'I am so sorry but I think'...., 'coment, coment...so sorry'). Sorry? When in actual he/she is so please to pull you down.

Why appologize if they are sincere?. One popular 'bitching' technique is that they say they want to give a sincere comment, then they pause for a while and let you wait to build up suspense and tension. What a drama. Why? They know that by playing with time, suspense will increase and you subsequently panic. (drama - 'I need to say something important....10 minutes latter...'your dress is too small for you').

Another 'bitching' example, “the reason I am commenting your writing because I have a friend who is better yet a humble person blah blah blah", "why I commented is because, I had a bad experience blah blah blah thats why I would like to comment blah blah”….shhh if it’s nothing to do with the person you want to comment why 'bitching'. Sincere comments need no apology and excuses. They might also repeatedly say that they take back what they say. Is it logically posssible? The Meta language behind the comments is only for you to stop having high motivation.

A 'bitching person' will always try to convince that you are angry (even if you are not) and mad with them after hearing their 'worthy' comment, so, they pretend to calm you down when in actual you are not even feeling any emotional pain (makes them look that they are in the right). Why? to make you really angry by 'suggesting you are'. Oh yes, they know psychology and they are very intelligent in the wrong side, some of them are really a master in certain language(s). With this, they hope to have the last word (their ultimate victory).

No thank you. I suggest when you encounter a 'bitching' person (also known as a serial critique), dont argue, put them into ‘mute’ mode and 'run for miles'. Yeah running miles from them is a good revenge as these people are normally very lonely (evidently; who wants to be near to these people?). Or maybe they engaged in 'bitching' activities because they are lonely, or they want attention thus became 'comment' 'police', in this case, I suggest they go to a psychiatrist to get cured. As to motives of 'bitching' I sense none other than 'envy', sometimes there are no motives, sometimes they dont realise that they are 'bitching'.

A 'bitching person' will never fail to see the negative sides but too lazy to observe the positives of even in a perfect situation (worse than Simon Cowell from American Idol). I call upon my fellow Muslim to stop the bad habit of 'bitching' as this is not our culture. With freedom of speech, stop policing the right and wrong according to your personal interest. If you think you are about to 'bitch', take a deep breath, quote the '2 kalimahsyahadat' (if you are a muslim), instead of be mad, be happy for others and pray for their success (not a hard excercise right?).

Remember, 'bitching' is not trendy any more. Since I have unravelled a lot of 'the dark art of bitching', we (the entrepreneurs) better becareful than let 'bitches' pull us down and stay determined in our good effort, and 'bitches', you ought to relearn your social skill and get a life (not from soaps). Even Joan Collins or Larry Hagman made less appearances nowadays.

OK, my fellow entrepreneurs, party and festivals are over let us work harder and determine to prove that we can make it.

Ps: Today I want to show the photos of my parents (the pillar of my strength) that I love so much, photos taken in Vietnam. I pray every day for their health, 'murah rezeki', longevity and be placed with 'orang-orang yang beriman'.

Pss: I am not going to appologize if my article is hurtful to some as that will be a drama for 'bitching'.

Psss: Without determination, more than 40,000 people will not have made the walk of yellow on the 10/11. Determined for BERSIH.